Its been more than 5 years. I had proposed that we be more than just friends and she accepted. What that naïve proposal started back then, is now growing into, what people call, an engagement. By the end of this month, I will be formally engaged to the girl I have been in love with for quite some time.
I really excited and at the same time quite palpably apprehensive. But I know I will sail through. And it is going to be quite a journey!
I have fallen in love so many times since that first time. Back then it was more of the excitement than the feeling. The first time I said that I loved someone, I didn’t even know what it meant. It was a dialogue that generations of movies had taught us to say when you felt that spark for that special someone from the opposite sex (or who knows, the same sex!). The dialogue didn’t mean much back then, but I sure did feel the spark. Just like in those movies, a call did put a smile on my face. I would wait for the next meeting. I was happy, excited and so …naive.
It was good while it lasted. Then I fell in love again! It was a smooth flow. We just clicked. Our young hearts thought that this was it. Everything was planned, the road was laid. We would glide smoothly to the end. While we were painstakingly placing each object in our surrounding, making the ambiance look better than the Versailles, there is one thing that we forgot, us. Soon we started discovering glitches. There was turbulence in the flow. And that turbulence eroded some of our beautiful garden.
And then, one more time, I fell in love. This time I knew about the sharp edges and I knew how to dodge them. But it wasn’t that fun anymore. Instead of gliding, we were more of dragging ourself. But still, every now and then, that spark would reignite and the day would feel sunny again. I would again feel happy, excited. But this time I was not that naive.
With that sense of maturity, I fell in love a few other times. Fell a few times, had fun the other. But every time understanding that this thing is so complex that I may never be able to understand it completely. All that I can do is enjoy the good times, and hope that they last really long. As for the bad times, I still haven’t understood how to avoid them. Just hoping that they are quick and painless.
But this last time I fell in love was different. The last couple of months have been great. The chemistry is just right. The spark is brighter then ever, things just click and I see no sharp edges around. I am gliding again. May be its because I know where not to tread. Or just may be I have started to master the skill of pressing the right buttons at the right time.
As I was saying, I have fallen in love so many times since that first time. The thing is, it was always with the same girl… over and over again!
This birthday, guess what I got? Even I hadnt thought of this… It was a fish bowl, and if that wasnt enough, there were fishes in it!! Live ones!! Not one, TWO!! So I get a bowl, some sand and two fishes (live and not to be cooked). And it was … Woooow. Its just great to see then go around. Making circles around the fake plant that I just put in. I just love them.
Now that hard part. I have to feed them two times a day. So now I have to be there every day. I have to refill the water everyday or once in two days. i have to change the water every 15 days, and clean everything. But thats all worth it!!
Thats right… I am 21. This birthday, I have to say, has been the best!! This day, I truely grew! I saw what was in store for me. I know how sweet things are about to become. I dont know how to put it… but this day has bought a huge smile on my face.
Not all days are so perfect. And no other day couldnt possibly be any better…